Am I the only one who sees a beer commercial and thinks, “Man, I wish I liked beer so that I can have zany fun like these guys on TV!” I hate beer. It tastes like watered down… um, something that is watered down that we shouldn’t drink unless we are on a boat with no water and going to die if we don’t or we are filming a TV show called Survivorman. Bad. It tastes bad. But the commercials make it look so appealing!
There has to be other people out there who are just a tempted as I am by commercials. Who doesn’t want to dance around on a little tiny video screen to hipster music in bright monochromatic outfits? I do! Who doesn’t want to try the triple cheesburger with six peices of bacon? Yum! Don’t even get me started on buying a mac instead of a PC. I love PCs but I don’t want to be the middle-aged, balding, overweight dork. No way, I want to be the cool guy with the hair who reminds me of the weekend update guy from a couple years ago who always threw the pencil at the camera at the end of the segment.
But like the beer, once I try what the TV commericals promise I am left dissatisfied (and possibly barfing, as in the case of beer.) I want to break the trend. So I bought some jeans. Not just any jeans. Brett Favre said that these jeans were real, comfortable, jeans. Wranglers. Manly, football playing jeans, if you ask me. I admit it: I bought Wranglers because Brett Favre told me to. And you know what? I like them! I like them a lot!
They are more comfortable than my Old Navy jeans, which tend to be a bit stiff, less expensive than Silver Tabs, even when I get them at Costco, and just as good looking as the ones from the boutique stores with their pre-fades and whisker looking pockets. I like Wranglers. And the best part? They are $16 bucks a pair at Wal-Mart!
The revolution has begun! Can I have my commercials and afford them too? Can I buy cool stuff and not pay that much? And most importantly: Will I still be cool if I am caught in an outfit that cost less than $25 total?
The last four pairs of shoes that I’ve bought have been less than $15 each. It started with an $12 pair of sneakers from Wal-Mart. The price was right plus they boasted that they were created from 70% post-consumer plastic water bottle waste. Then I got a sweet pair of tan canvas shoes and a pair of casual dress shoes from Ross – both less than $15. Then yesterday I got a pair of Adidas basketball shoes for $4.99. Sure they are red and canary yellow, the tongue doesn’t go all the way the length of the shoe, and there doesn’t seem to be any connection between their design and purpose, but they were $4.99!
Shirts at Wal-Mart, Ross and Marshall’s are $10 or less. EBay and Amazon have great prices on electronics and houshold things. You know, I’ve even bought grocery items on Amazon – and I liked it!
In the real world, I have bills and I can’t afford to believe the promises of advertising. I still long for the frolicking of Old Navy-ites when I see the commercials, but now, I rub my $16 jeans, kick off my $12 shoes, and paint on my $5 shirts and say, “Hey, Dave Ramsey was on to something.” No one answers. Because unlike commercials, I live in the real world, and there isn’t always a party going on and there isn’t always some hot chick ready to Tag me or some sexy dude ready to smell my perfume.