Why I Love Zombies

I don’t watch horror films. I’ve never seen any of the Saw movies. I don’t like watching slasher flicks. I don’t like watching ghost or demon or witchcraft movies. I don’t enjoy being scared. But I love watching zombie movies!The most recent Dawn of the Dead epitomizes the genre for me. A nurse and her [husband -we will assume because this is a Christian blog] wakes up in the morning to a neighborhood little girl opening the door to her bedroom. She is covered in blood. The [husband] rushes to the girl’s aide only to turn away for just a moment giving the perfect opportunity for the girl to maul his neck with her zombie teeth! Blood spurting from his artery he quickly dies… only to rise up a zombie moments later!

The nurse escapes the house to find this same thing happening all over her previously peaceful suburban street. She drives away from (and over some) zombies. Alas, there is no where to go. Everywhere she drives in her city there are zombies attacking the remnant of the humans.

A man tries to steal her car causing her to crash it. When she revives she is staring down the barrel of Ving Rhames‘ shotgun. Rhames is a cop so she hooks up with him. (By the way, it is precisely for situations like this that I am for personal gun rights.) As they travel they hook up with others who tell of the widespread catastrophe.

The zombies are everywhere.

screen shot from Dead Rising for the XBOX 360

The decide to go to the nearby mall hoping to lock the zombies out. The mall has clothes, food (Starbucks, etc), weapons (sports equipment, etc), and places to sleep (display beds, etc). It’s a good plan. But no matter how safe they seem to be inside they will ultimately run out of food or the zombies will end up finding a way in.

I don’t count zombie movies as horror films because unlike horror films zombies are out in the open. You can see your enemy. You know there is no way out. It’s not about surviving the Bogey Man. It’s about overcoming impossible odds with just your wits and your resources and your muscles.

The ultimate man movie!

Never mind the 20 evil cowboys at the OK Corral! In zombie flicks you get the same odd-stacked-against-you situation but on steroids. How about 1000 cowboys at the corral? How about if the cowboys bite you then you join their team? How about all the townsfolk don’t just watch on as you fight but they are against you too; there is no safe place for you.

Never mind the 100 evil terrorists that Iron Man has to escape from (and kill). How about after he does kill them there are an unlimited number of terrorists waiting for him in every town he goes to? And if they get you it’s a fate worse than death!

There is no explanation for the zombies. There is no rationalizing with them. There will be no surrender. No discussion. No Geneva convention. Kill or be killed.

Zombie films appeal to men in the same way that all action flicks do but the consequences are ratcheted up a notch – and by “notch” I mean “a million times more notches” or “millinotches (c)” as I like to say. They give us a way to ask the questions all men, deep down, want to know about themselves:

Could I protect those who are with me?
Could I overcome these odds?
Do I have it in me to go on when all hope is lost?

Zombie films give men the fodder they need for their most beloved fantasies – hero fantasies.

When I dream, I dream of protecting people, saving lives, being the hero. I don’t dream of butterflies, humming birds and tacos. (Well, tacos are sometimes in my hero dreams…)

I want to be the hero. I want to see the world in black and white – good verses evil. I want to join the side of good and help it win against all the odds. In this way, zombie movies appeal to me in the same way that Christianity does. (Left Behind, anyone?) Consider all the apocalyptic teachings of the Bible – the Horsemen, Armageddon, devils verses angels! It’s frakkin’ awesome!

That’s why a good Christian boy like me loves zombie movies: it reminds me of the coming apocalypse and lets me play it out over and again… without actually being there yet.

Besides, it’s all fake. Duh.

(Never mind that last sentance! In case of a zombie attack, I have already set up defenses at my place and stocked up on food for months. So if the zombies attack make your way here. Bring your guns and ammo.)

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2 thoughts on “Why I Love Zombies

  1. Something that nonjews should think about: Yirmiyahu (Jeremiah) 16:19-20"To You the nations will come from the distant parts of the land" and they will confess, 'Our ancestors inherited falsehood, futility that has no purpose. Can a man make a god? The man not being a god?'"… Read MoreThe Jewish nation that has kept Torah (G-d's commandments) throughout time are not the ones that will go to other nations to say we have inheirted falsehood. No friends, it is the nations that have inherited falsehood. Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 40:18"To whom can you liken God? Or what likeness can you compare to him?"Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 42:8"I am G-d; that is My Name. I will not grant My honor to anyone else or My glory to idols."Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 43:10"You are My witnesses," says G-d, "and My servant whom I chose," in order that you know and believe Me, and understand that I am He; before Me no god was formed and after Me none shall be."Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 43:11" I am G-d, I alone. There is no Savior besides Me."Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 45:5"Thus says G-d, the King of Israel and its Redeemer, the L-rd of Hosts, "I am the first and I am the last, and there is no god besides Me."Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 45:22"Turn to Me and be saved, all the ends of the earth, for I am G-d, and there is no other."Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 46:5"To whom can you liken Me and whom can you declare My equal? To what can you compare Me that we should seem similar?"Once again: those that have ears – hear. Yirmiyahu (Jeremiah) 16:19-20"To You the nations will come from the distant parts of the land" and they will confess, 'Our ancestors inherited falsehood, futility that has no purpose. Can a man make a god? The man not being a god?'"The Jewish nation that has kept Torah (G-d's commandments) throughout time are not the ones that will go to other nations to say we have inheirted falsehood. No friends, it is the nations that have inherited falsehood. Please repent before the Holy One – Blessed be He – says your time on earth is over. Come learn from the nation that G-d said would be "the light to the nations."

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