The Fresh Prince

OK. Here’s the situation:
My parents went away for a week’s vacation.
They left the keys to the brand new Porsche!
It ain’t mine…
Ah well, of course not!
I’ll just take it for a little spin,
And maybe show it off to a couple of friends…I don’t care what you think. Will Smith does not exist.

The performer of these inimitable lyrics will forever be the “Fresh Prince.” Not of Bel Air. Of everywhere. That’s how I know him. And I see no reason to change my opinion on him.

If I were to take into consideration the Prince’s TV show or his movies I’d have to say – being honest with myself – that the Fresh Prince just isn’t as cool as I remember. (Wild Wild West, anyone?) But if I refuse to adjust my opinion of the Fresh Prince he can forever be the same amazing performer that he was in the late 80’s and early 90’s.

Nightmare on My Street stays hip. Parent’s Just Don’t Understand (above) stays relevant.

“He’s the D.J. I’m the rapper!” says the Fresh Prince. Not, “I’m the actor.”

Refusing to allow people to grow, in our minds, allows us to neatly pack them into the corners of our mind. Who has room for non-neatly packed people? Brains are only so big.

So what I do – which I share for free because I’m awesome – is look at people, get a good read on what I think about them then I mentally make a statue of them in my mind. (Statues are cool because they last forever. Their arms fall off after a while, but who needs arms in memories?)

Once the statue is completed, maybe 5 or 10 seconds later, I quickly draw up a big yellow label with lines on it (like a 3×5 card from elementary school only yellow with green lines, not blue lines because that’s so passé,) tie it around the statue’s neck and move on to the next person. This allows me to quickly sift through people I meet, neatly sorting them into categories like, “socialist,” “liberal,” “conservative,” “emergent,” “fundamentalist,” “right,” “wrong,” “great American,” “taco,” and so on.

Very efficient, right?

Antagonistic and stupid people will argue with me here. They’ll say, “But Scott, people change. They grow up. They mature. They shouldn’t be labeled or judged like this.”

What these bleeding hearts seem to ignore is that what they are asking of us takes way too much time and effort! We’d have to constantly be interacting with these people on the slim chance that they’ll change. When do you stop “getting to know them?” Never? Ridiculous!

People are like snap shots. Once you take the picture they’re done. They don’t learn or grow or get better. They are exactly the same as they have always been.

Just like the Fresh Prince.


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