What’s Wrong With Me?

This has happened before. (No, not like Battlestar Galactica. I mean, at least not as far as I know.)

 
I’ve been here. After trying to do a “good work” and feeling like all I did was an “ok work.”
 
At church today, Bruce Coble, the missions pastor, was preaching and one of the things that caught my attention and stuck with me was a comment he made about approaching people to help them when we feel the stirring to do so. He said, “I’ve gotten in the habit of telling them, ‘God told me to help you.’ So that they know it was from God and not just me.”
 
I think, if I do a good deed but don’t tell the person I am doing it because my faith in God or because God loves them then person has no possible outlet for their gratitude other than me. And good works should direct people to God.
 
Driving home today after church I see a guy on a motorcycle. He is pushing it, the thing is clearly dead. I drive past him but I keep looking back. It looked like he was out of gas.
 
As I continued on several things popped into my mind:
 
I have time before I have to go to work today. I could help him.
He’ll have to walk a long way to get gas. That would suck.
I’m alone so I wouldn’t be putting anyone in my family at risk.And then the big one:

I was created by God to do good works for his glory.That one got me. So I turned around and went back. I found him and called out, “Hey Dude,” because I speak surfer, “Do you need gas?”

He said, “No it’s dead. Do you have jumper cables?”
 
I took out the cables and plugged them in. I told him, “I passed you and but I kept thinking of you. At church we just talked about this so I came back.”
 
After he drove off I couldn’t help but run through the whole event again and again. This had happened before. And like that time, I just wasn’t prepared.
 
I choked.
 
I know some of you are thinking that I did good. That’s because we Christians have set the bar so low. I mean, I appreciate your encourgament but in reality I didn’t do what I should have.
 
Let me prove it: what is this?
 
Can’t answer? Well then how is the guy supposed to know what this is that we were talking about at church?
 
I want to be the kind of Christian who will speak the truth with boldness; not choke-ness. I want to be so comfortable talking about God that it’s second nature. I want to do good works but I also want people to be moved towards God because of them.
 
In the end, I want a, “Well done my good and faithful servant!”
 
Not a, “Good effort.”
 
Know what I mean?
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3 thoughts on “What’s Wrong With Me?

  1. Let me encourage you though that it's the Lord that gives people ears to hear and eyes to see. It is also He who holds people accountable to the fact of His existence based "merely" on the Creation itself.I have no doubt the guy knew what you meant and was deeply touched by it.

  2. I know it's better than nothing. I wanted to share my struggles because I think a lot of people struggle to communicate faith. I have a big mouth and I talk a good game yet sometimes I totally choke. I guess this is more of a journal entry than a blog! :)Thanks for your comments!

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